Being Bad is the First Step to Being Good

For decades, the professional narrative has focused on being and acting confident, presenting a positive attitude as a fast-track solution to eliminate self-doubt and boost self-worth. This narrative has been preached in leadership development, sales training, and management skill-building. After all, faking confidence is easier than the hard work of becoming skilled, able, and competent. Perhaps this is why the self-esteem movement marketed confidence as a quick fix, encouraging the "fake it till you make it" mentality. It offered “don’t dream it, be it” hope to those seeking confidence without the effort of skill-building. However, confidence without competence is like a house of cards, ready to collapse at the first breeze of reality.

The Pitfalls of "Fake It Till You Make It"

The concept of "fake it till you make it" has been popular advice for decades (the phrase seems to have originated around 1973). It suggests that individuals will eventually become confident and successful by acting confident. While adopting the right attitude can help us survive challenging situations in the short term, faking confidence is not sustainable. We may survive the moment (and sometimes must), but it won’t compare to developing real skills and competencies.

While adopting the right attitude can help us survive challenging situations in the short term, faking confidence is not sustainable. Being bad is the first step to being good; it embraces the learning process, acknowledges initial incompetence, and focuses on genuine skill development and sustainable confidence.

When learning to ride a bicycle, you can only fake confidence for so long before you fall off. Being bad is the first step to being good. True skill comes from practice, balance, and the muscle memory developed over time. Initially, you may feel wobbly and unsure, but as you spend more time riding, you build the competence to pedal smoothly and navigate turns effortlessly. Without this effort, your confidence is superficial and likely to crumble at the first challenge.

"Fake it till you make it" promotes superficial and temporary confidence based on appearance rather than substance, which can lead to imposter syndrome and fragile success.In contrast, "being bad is the first step to being good" embraces the learning process, acknowledges initial incompetence, and focuses on genuine skill development and sustainable confidence. This approach leads to authentic growth, resilient success, and a healthier, more realistic mindset toward personal and professional development.

Contrasting Approaches

Fake It Till You Make It: This approach encourages individuals to project confidence even when they lack the underlying skills or knowledge. The focus is on presenting an image of competence to gain short-term benefits, such as initial success and improved social interactions. However, this superficial confidence can lead to several issues:

• Superficial Confidence: The confidence gained is temporary and fragile because it is not based on actual abilities.
• Skipping Steps: This method implies bypassing the initial, often uncomfortable stages of learning, jumping straight to the appearance (and belief) of success
• Risk of Imposter Syndrome: Individuals may feel like frauds because their confidence is not backed by real competence, leading to ongoing self-doubt and anxiety.
• Potential Stagnation: Relying solely on one's belief in oneself can lead to a lack of genuine skill development, which can result in career stagnation.
• Fragile Success: Success achieved may be prone to collapse when faced with challenges that require actual skills. The lack of real competence can lead to fragile, unsustainable success.
• Mindset of Pretending: Encourages a mindset of pretending to be something you are not, focusing on external perceptions and appearances over internal growth and actual abilities.

Being Bad is the First Step to Being Good: This approach emphasizes starting from a place of humility, acknowledging one's current lack of skill, and improving through deliberate practice and learning. This method fosters genuine, sustainable confidence and competence through consistent effort:

• Authentic Growth: Encourages accepting and learning from mistakes as a natural part of the learning process. Continuous Improvement: Focuses on gradual improvement and mastery through consistent practice, which builds genuine confidence over time.
• Resilient Success: Success achieved through this approach is more stable and resilient, as it is built on a solid foundation of skills and knowledge.
• Genuine Competence: Leads to genuine competence and expertise over time, as individuals learn from their mistakes and improve through deliberate practice.
• Sustainable Confidence: Builds durable, reliable confidence based on real abilities, making success more stable and resilient.
• Growth Mindset: Encourages embracing challenges and failures as part of the learning process, focusing on internal development and genuine progress over time.

The Importance of Skill Development

Developing fundamental skills takes effort. Confidence that’s not backed by competence is fragile. When your confidence is rooted in actual abilities, it becomes more durable and reliable.

Malcolm Gladwell's Insights: In his book "Outliers," Malcolm Gladwell popularized the idea that achieving mastery in any field requires approximately 10,000 hours of deliberate practice. This concept underscores that true confidence and success come from dedicated, consistent effort and skill-building.

Deliberate Practice Theory: Authors like Anders Ericsson in "Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise" and Geoff Colvin in "Talent Is Overrated" emphasize that deliberate practice—focused, goal-oriented practice—is essential for developing actual competence. This type of practice challenges individuals to push their limits, leading to genuine skill acquisition and confidence.

Confidence without competence is like a shiny car without an engine—it looks good but won’t take you far. While self-esteem and confidence are essential, they’re not substitutes for genuine skill and competence. Building real confidence requires mastering skills and achieving tangible results.

By adopting strategies for skill development, integrating emotional intelligence, fostering a growth mindset, understanding imposter syndrome, and maintaining mental health, you can create a solid foundation for both competence and confidence. This balanced approach ensures your personal and professional growth is inspiring and grounded in reality.

AUTHOR

John Patterson
Co-founder and CEO
INFLUENTIAL U
John Patterson steers the ship at Influential U, boldly challenging the traditional, often myopic views of success in our hyper-individualistic era. He isn't afraid to poke fun at the archaic obsession with attributing every win or loss to single actors, calling out the industry’s penchant for oversimplified 'transactional' comprehension. Leading a crack team dedicated to innovating businesses and business ecosystems, John is all about integrating the personal with the whole system—because, let’s face it, no one wins alone.